A Big Adventure in Tanzania...(dad holds down the fort)

Eva, Emilio and I returned from Tanzania day before yesterday. We had a really big adventure. The beloved Bordens (of Wild Hope fame), my dear friends from college days in Santa Barbara, opened their home to us and showed us a grand time. We experienced their East African life for just a spell, and came to love the Masai land they call home.

This is a much bigger story, of course. The real point here is that while we were off galavanting around the globe, dad was here, alone in the house and in charge of making sure that all ran smoothly. I think he felt a little abandoned, and I'm afraid that with the thrill of preparing to depart, I didn't look forward to anticipate how he would adjust to being alone.

Ten years ago he would have been less lonely. Now (he's 85 today), he has fears about leaving the house. I admit that I wasn't prepared for this. Dear Kelly stepped in (he wasn't prepared either) and helped dad through these past three weeks. They took road trips and dined together and K. called dad each day, just to check in.

Two other dear friends here offered to share meals with dad. It takes a village. I am grateful.

But I still have to figure out how to get dad out and about more...my big task for the month of July.

All in all, dad did a great job of feeding the pets and cleaning the litter boxes and sweeping the floors and keeping the house lived in and loved. And I'm sure he spent just a few quiet moments thinking of his own Africa days, in the northern reaches of the continent, when he and mom met while teaching and travelled the land together.

It's a big place, that Africa. Glad we've both been able to experience just a wee bit of it.

things I didn't consider...

Emilio reminded me, last week, that having Grandpa here means that it will be harder to let him go, when the time comes.

I honestly hadn't considered this, when mulling the possibilities of his coming to live with us. I wouldn't have said that I was particularly close to my dad, I sort of just knew that he was out there, not too, too far away. But now, as he settles into our home, I feel myself drawing nearer to him. I find myself growing fond of his peculiarities...of the way he marvels over the Starbucks french press (and other modern gizmos), of his television too-loud-in-the-room-across-the-hall, of the way he asks me, each morning, if we need anything from the market.

I find his list-making endearing. And I love that, at the end of the day, he'll report that he forgot to get such-and-such (in spite of the list). I have asked him to consider the canvas bags for transport during his outings to Target. He prefers the plastic, we may need the bags...

then I just find a kind way to suggest that the bags are choking the planet (what about those poor cows in India?) and let the issue go...

I think that all of this means that I am closer to him, already. I know it means that I am more tolerant than I thought I could be.

and loving my dad more, at this point in our lives, is certainly worth considering...